By Nina W Brown EdD LPC
This advisor teaches the grown-up the right way to establish harmful styles as a result of parental self-absorption, and the way to accommodate the consequences. the writer bargains options for unlearning the adverse influence of early life emotional abuse and rebuilding vainness.
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Additional info for Children of the Self-Absorbed: A Grown-Up's Guide to Getting over Narcissistic Parents
Grandiosity ! shallow emotions ! exploitation of others ! emotional abusiveness. The behaviors and attitudes described in each category are simply examples and don’t necessarily include all the possible behaviors and attitudes in that category. As you read through 22 Children of the Self-Absorbed each one, try to rate the extent to which your parent(s) exhibited them. The scale used will be: 5 – Always or almost always 4 – Frequently 3 – Sometimes 2 – Seldom 1 – Never, or almost never Having a high score in one or two categories doesn’t necessarily indicate a destructive narcissistic pattern, but having a high score in five or more categories definitely could.
6. If you find that something persists and increases your anger, concentrate on your breathing. It’s important that you do not try to minimize the impact of your emotions. They are significant, but you don’t have to become mired in them, overwhelmed, or let their intensity increase. Now reflect for a few moments on the positive ways you developed in spite of your parent’s influences. You probably have many positive qualities, and these, too, were impacted by parental influences, as well as any predispositions you had.
Ask the person if they notice the same thing, or if the perception is uniquely yours. If the parent has a DNP, then it’s likely that the person will either agree that your perception is what he/she too experiences, or that there is something else about the parent that is frustrating to him/her. If you discover that your experience is limited to you, then that may be a signal that you need to do more self-examination to determine if your parent’s criticisms have some basis in fact. The other crucial source of information will be your usual and persistent reactions to the parent(s).
Children of the Self-Absorbed: A Grown-Up's Guide to Getting over Narcissistic Parents by Nina W Brown EdD LPC