Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most by Bruce Patton, Douglas Stone, Sheila Heen PDF

By Bruce Patton, Douglas Stone, Sheila Heen

ISBN-10: 0670883395

ISBN-13: 9780670883394

Individuals of the Harvard Negotiation Project--which introduced you the mega-bestseller attending to YES--show you ways to address your so much tricky conversations with self assurance and talent.

Whether you're facing an underperforming worker, disagreeing together with your wife approximately funds or child-rearing, negotiating with a tough purchaser, or just asserting "no," or "I'm sorry," or "I love you," we strive or steer clear of tough conversations each day. according to fifteen years of analysis on the Harvard Negotiation undertaking, tough Conversations walks you thru a step by step confirmed method of having your hardest conversations with much less rigidity and extra success.

You will examine:
* tips to commence the dialog with no defensiveness
* why what's now not acknowledged is as very important as what is
* methods of maintaining and regaining your stability within the face of assaults and accusations
* the way to decipher the underlying constitution of each tough dialog

Filled with examples from lifestyle, tough Conversations might help you at the task, at domestic, or out on the planet. it's a publication you'll flip to repeatedly for recommendation, functional abilities, and reassurance.

Difficult Conversations is a brand new York instances company Bestseller.

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Additional info for Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most

Sample text

Most of the difficulty in firing someone or in breaking up takes place in the Feelings and Identity Conversations, which we’ll explore later. But the question of differing perspectives is also important. Remember, understanding the other person’s story doesn’t mean you have to agree with it, nor does it require you to give up your own. And the fact that you are willing to try to understand their view doesn’t diminish the power you have to implement your decision, and to be clear that your decision is final.

Finally, each has learned something, and the stage for meaningful change is set. To get anywhere in a disagreement, we need to understand the other person’s story well enough to see how their conclusions make sense within it. And we need to help them understand the story in which our conclusions make sense. Understanding each other’s stories from the inside won’t necessarily “solve” the problem, but as with Karen and Trevor, it’s an essential first step. Different Stories: Why We Each See the World Differently As we move away from arguing and toward trying to understand the other person’s story, it helps to know why people have different stories in the first place.

Jack thinks to himself, “I can’t believe the way Michael treated me,” but he is un- Explore Each Other’s Stories 39 aware that this is based on an implicit rule of how people “should” treat each other. ” Many of us agree with this rule, but it is not a truth, just a rule. ” The point isn’t whose rule is better; the point is that they are different. But Jack won’t know they’re different unless he first considers what rules underlie his own story about what happened. Recall the story of Andrew and his Uncle Doug at the parade.

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Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most by Bruce Patton, Douglas Stone, Sheila Heen

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